Micki

I was so honored Dane asked Emily and I to give eulogies for Micki, alongside him, Ian, and Ren. The following is what I shared at the services in Lafayette, CO, and Goodland, KS.

I have had the privilege of knowing Micki for 14 years, and calling her my mother-in-law for 11. But more than that, she became my second mom, and one of my greatest friends.

the annual eye exam visit: gastronomical adventures

A few weeks ago, Ian went to Phoenix to rub elbows with other landscape architects and be part of the team accepting one of the highest awards in the profession. This happened to coincide with Dane and Micki's now annual trip trip to Boston for a yearly appointment at the Boston Foundation for Sight. He thought about skipping Phoenix, but they (Dane and Micki) wouldn't let him. So while he was schmoozing and eating In-n-Out, we enjoyed the flavors of Boston.

They arrived Saturday afternoon to overcast skies and wet pavement. After unpacking and unwinding, Micki and I took a stroll to Dorado to pick up dinner. We had our fingers crossed for some hot tortilla soup to combat the weather and Dane's cold, but with the weather waffling between two seasons, Dorado hadn't yet transitioned into their toastier soup option. But even without hot soup, you can't go wrong with Dorado, and we enjoyed football and an introduction to Breaking Bad (which I've concluded is too depressing for me to continue watching) over baja street food.

Sunday morning we slept in before grabbing breakfast at Pavement and heading to [REUNION]. Dane jumped right in after the gathering, helping out with the tear down crew (just think Dane, if you moved here, you could do that whenever you want!). Our next stop of the day was SoWa Market. Micki and I's visit two years ago was short thanks to getting lost on the T, and she wanted a redo. Also, over the past two years SoWa has blossomed as a food truck hot spot, which was a great pitch for Dane.

It was another soggy day, but not enough for a rain-out concern. But when we arrived at the SoWa parking lot, all of the food trucks were missing. We started asking arts and crafts vendors, who directed us to the farmer's market on the other side of the building (containing the vintage market), who directed us down the street to the Trolley Building. Success. Dane and Micki went straight for Lobsta Love, while I got in line for a green muenster at Roxy's (where I also impressed the order taker with my abbreviation of the day's drink as "blackberry etc. lemonade").

After lunch, Dane headed home to watch more football and make tortilla soup for dinner, while Micki and I got our shop on. We buzzed through the farmers, vintage, and open markets. We didn't end up actually purchasing anything, but we had lots of fun looking (particularly at things like shiny red boxing shorts next to a 1950s milkshake machine and a ceramic black and white poodle lamp). We also meandered in and out of shops on Newbury as we slowly made our way home to delicious soup and more Breaking Bad.

Monday after work and an eye doctors visit (everything continues to look good, pun intended) and new lens, we met up at Sweet Cheeks. (Now serving biscuits at lunch and to go, which is both delightful and dangerous.) We stuffed ourselves on biscuits, mac and cheese, and straight up good barbecue while I told them about my Julia Stiles sighting and they caught me up on Micki's appointment.

Ian arrived home in the wee hours Tuesday morning, and took the day off to spend it with them. They picked me up at work in time for our dinner reservation at Lumière. It's not cheap. It's not on public transportation. But it is committed to inventive and high quality local food, and boy does it deliver. We even got an extra dessert as an apology after a snafu with one of the desserts we originally ordered off the prix fixe menu. Most surprising dish? Concord grape sorbet with sweet cream sauce, candied peanuts, and peanut butter cookies. I didn't get that was a riff on pb&j until I had a bite.

Wednesday morning, we bid them safe travels with promises to video chat soon. And as I reflected on their weekend in Boston, I thought how interesting it is that family and food go hand in hand. There is something comforting about sitting around a table and sharing a meal, whether it's take out, homemade soup, or a three course meal. It brings people together. Makes them closer. In community group recently, we discussed Acts 2's compelling picture of the early church — full of love, support, selflessness, joy, and shared meals. It's no accident that a paragraph on true community mentions food three times.

In a culture of constant motion, I'm so thankful for time with family, laughing over dinner. And as we continue to build our community here in Boston, we will be sure to make space around the dinner table for our friends and neighbors.

Fifty is nifty (happy birthday Micki!)

I happen to have an amazing and inspiring mother-in-law. And she happens to be turning 50 today. It's kind of a big deal. So in honor of this milestone, we (and by we I really mean Dane) have a surprise for her: an inbox full of birthday wishes. If you want to join us, send an email to mickififtywow (at) gmail (dot) com.

Micki, it's your day!

the annual eye exam visit: cold on the water

Dane and Micki were in town a couple weeks ago for Micki's checkup at the Boston Foundation for Sight. Her cancer is in check thanks to Herceptin and healthy living, and her second cornea transplant is continuing to do great thanks to the special prosthetic contact from the Foundation.

We picked them up from the airport late Saturday night, and woke up relatively early the next morning, given their two hour time adjustment, to grab Boloco truckstops (for Dane) and Starbucks (for Micki) before the second gathering at REUNION. Which, by the way, was a successful first day as one church in two locations: 152 people attended the Somerville launch and there was still a great turnout in Back Bay.

After church, we decided to catch the Head of the Charles Regatta, "the world's largest two-day rowing event." It was a cool day, and even colder on the water. After taking some photos and watching a few boats dart past, we decided we'd experienced enough of both the race and the weather.

We took the Red Line back downtown for some clam chowder and original Boston Cream Pie. As many times as Dane and Micki have visited Boston, they're no longer interested in the touristy things. But that cake is just too good to pass up while you're here. (On another note, this is the best group photo we got all week...)

We relaxed that night over an episode of Fringe, knowing we had a full couple days of birthday celebration adventures ahead of us. Stay tuned...

hope and heartache

This past weekend, we headed up to Wichita to join Aunt Patti for Race for the Cure and watch Ren kicking at Bethel's first home game of the season.

We arrived Friday night in time to enjoy some dinner with Ren before heading to bed — we had to leave by 8 a.m. (i.e. 7 a.m. mountain time) for Race for the Cure. The three of us arrived at the mall bright and early while the guys slept in a little longer. After checking in, we wandered around, scored some free swag, and took photos with some wandering stormtroopers. It was so exciting to see so many people there (nearly 7,500 racing), raising money and awareness for breast cancer. There was so much information about risk factors and early detection, and with the money Susan G. Komen raised and continues to raise, hopefully the cure is one step closer.

The walk, our race, started at 9:15 a.m. When we arrived at the starting line, I couldn't believe how many people were walking.

After 5K, we finally arrived at the finish line.

addition: I just found out we made it on TV! If you watch close (we go fast), you can see us girls walking in the video clip here, and you can read the article here (we aren't quoted or anything, just if you're curious).

We made our way back to the stage and vendors, where the guys met us to visit more booths (including free Starbucks!). We picked up a little more free swag before heading to the Good Egg for lunch. My banana-coconut pancakes were fantastic but if I were to do it over, I would get a single pancake instead of two — they were massive!

I took a much needed power nap, and we all got decked out for Ren's night game against Kansas Wesleyan. Ian's cousin Alli made it to the game, and we got to meet Carson, our first cousin once-removed, for the first time.

Bethel played great — it's a tribute to the coaching staff and players that they were able to come back and play well after a heartbreaking loss in the last seconds at their game the previous weekend.

In the fourth quarter, Bethel was trailing KWU by six points. After recovering a fumble, they put together a solid drive to score, and Ren nailed a perfect point after to pull the team ahead with 15 seconds remaining in the game.

The defense did a fantastic job, and after two plays — an incomplete pass and a completed pass that fell short of a touchdown, the clock ran out and Bethel started running out on the field. KWU's coach started arguing with the referees, saying he called their final timeout with one second remaining. The refs conceded and put back one second on the clock.

As KWU ran their final play, their quarterback scrambled and finally launched a pass into a mass of players around the five-yard line. Bethel defense was doing its job, then one of the KWU players pushed off a defender to catch the pass. In the newspaper article the next day, the player admitted he pushed off, which should have incurred a penalty. After catching the ball, he looked to the refs, then seeing no flag ran in for a touchdown, making the final score 19-14, KWU.

I've never seen refs run off the field as fast as they did Saturday night. The Bethel crowd was in disbelief and angry at the series of events that ended the game. The refs allowed an additional play for KWU at the request of the KWU coach (perhaps correctly — I can't watch replays), then they missed a big offensive interference call that even the offending player acknowledged to the newspaper. Perhaps KWU would have managed to score after a penalty, but we'll never know.

It would be one thing to lose in a heartbreaker to a classy team after a tough and evenly matched game. What makes this loss hurt more is what we witnessed at the game: the lack of class shown by the Kansas Wesleyan coaching staff, players, and fans. Near the beginning of the game, a KWU player threw a very late hit, punching a Bethel player in the helmet. While they received a penalty, he was not ejected or pulled out by their coach — he continued to play. Fans shouted obscenities at the Bethel players as they headed to the locker room at halftime. After the game, a player chanted something along the lines of "you can't stop us" although the win leaves room for questions and was by no means a blowout.

I'm very thankful for the coaching staff at Bethel, knowing the character that Coach Moore instills in his players. To him, football is much more than winning or losing. As painful as the game was, I'm thankful for Bethel's integrity and class and I admire their resilience in the face of defeat. I wish them luck in their next game.

one month later...

We've been back from our Philippines trip for exactly a month. In that month, we've been to SC, Denver five times each — one of Ian's Denver trips included a hiking trip with Ren to the mountains, and Manhattan twice (thanks again, Britni and Joe, for housing us and our things!). In between, we've kept busy here at home, bookkeeping, blogging, playing with Pfluff, running errands, and helping around the house as we wait for a job opportunity for Ian. We've been praying about Ian's job, but are thankful for this time with family — we understand why God is saying "not yet."

Some of you already know that Micki's cancer is back again. This is the third time, but each time has been a different cancer, none of which is genetic. The doctors are really interested in her! The tests for this cancer came back with the best-case scenario — hormone positive and HER-2 positive. This means that the herceptin she is taking is still effective and also will work for this new cancer, and they know exactly what to do to cut off the "food source" of the cancer, which is hormones. To address the hormone issue, we went to Denver on Tuesday, and she had laparoscopic surgery to remove her ovaries on Wednesday. She's a little sore but recovering well and we appreciate the thoughts, prayers, and delicious food from a great support network! Also, she'll start Femara. This newer drug is much easier on the body than tamoxifen. For those of you who don't know all of the technical terms, just know God has answered prayers in a big way and we are very thankful.

We're also happy to have lots of time to play with Pfluff, the family's curious and acrobatic cat who plays fetch. She brings joy to our days.

And as we wait, I've added to my experiences at the family funeral homes. Today, I helped Micki assemble a temporary grave marker, helped Dane move out a casket from the casket room, and Ian and I helped Dane move the body to the casket. It was much different than Take Your Daughter to Work Day with my dad at the Ag Service Center! After finishing up at the funeral home, we came home, made communion bread, and Micki and I enjoyed a little at-home foot spa while listening to the K-State football game. What a great way to end the day!

We're not in Kansas anymore... again.

Between Purse Day and our trip back to Kansas, the biggest exciting event was that I got my WiiFit age down to 27. I won't say what I started out as... hah!

Wednesday afternoon we took a cab to the airport. We decided we don't really like Philadelphia's airport, and the security there stressed me out more than usual. While we waited for our plane, Ian worked on finishing up the presentation he was going to give for a high school class — one of his old teachers asked him if he'd come talk about landscape architecture. Ian also worked on some thank-you notes on the plane ride. A very funny flight attendant (male, 40s, in pre-flight instructions referred to the oxygen masks as "designer butter dishes" and dryly told us what to do in the event of a water landing "between Chicago and Denver") asked if I was making him write them and then said preprinted with a short handwritten note was the way to go. He was quite the entertainer! And for the record, I didn't make Ian write them, I only asked for his help...

We arrived in Denver fairly late, which was aggravated by the time change from Eastern to Mountain time. While we waited for his Aunt Susan to pick us up (thanks Susan!), I managed to get some funny photos of Ian!

Here he looks very grumpy and important and busy...

... like those people who hurry out of buildings and avoid reporters.

But I properly apply a kiss...

... and voila, he's happy!

Anyway, halfway home, Susan needed a nap, so Ian took over driving, and I fell asleep too (again, I was running 2 hours later than the clock showed at that point). We got to the house, and no one was home! Ian was mildly offended — "they didn't say they were going to be gone!" but Dane and Ren got home soon after. Apparently it was the project graduation party. Oh, and you should ask Ren about smoke bombs. I'll say no more here, except that it's rather humorous.

Thursday was another jam-packed day. I worked on the bulletin while Ian went to school to give his presentation, twice. Then Ian took me to help Dane dress a body. My first time, even though Ian has been saying I need to go with them for the past 3 years. It was an interesting experience. Then it was guest night! The whole thing went off pretty good. Josef was the guest, so it was really good to get to see him again. There were some great performances, and Ren did amazing with "Sitting, Waiting, Wishing" by Jack Johnson. I didn't manage to get a good photo of it, because the lighting for his solo (with band accompanying) didn't get along with my camera.

However, I did get some decent photos of another performance. X-Pressos pulled "Men in Tights" out of the vault, and Ian and Josef joined them.

I also had the wonderful opportunity to talk to my good friend Jessica, from back home. It was great catching up with her!!

Friday, we went to see my family, which was absolutely wonderful. Nathan wasn't home yet though. He had a final that afternoon, and my family left that evening to help him move out of the dorms Saturday morning (so they could make it back to Ren's post-graduation family dinner to celebrate, and also so Nathan, Ian, and I could actually see each other). Mom made some great meals, and she and I made biko and talked while Ian took a nap. Apparently, the sushi rice we found isn't the right kind of rice. We needed the long-grained glutenous rice. They are so white, they look like little plastic bits. Fortunately, mom had some, and now I know what to look for the next time we make it!

Before my family took off, mom and I took some photos together, of me with my "short" hair and her with her "long" hair. Her hair is growing out really nice, by the way! She just has Herceptin until September, then she's completely done! The first photo is mom trying to look like she has long hair by using mine. I think maybe it would have worked better before I chopped it...

Karen came over and we had a wonderful chat with her out at the park (after getting a drink at One Stop. Which is closing/closed. It's sad. My high school hang out. Gone. *sniff*). Then we went to see Britni, ahhh!, and Joe (exciting too, but I don't think he'd appreciate the scream as much). I got to see her in her dress, gorgeous, and Karen and I practiced our bridesmaidly duties and helped her into it. We'll need some practice. I can't divulge details because the dress is a surprise, but let's just say it's a little tricky. We also did a birthday present exchange, since Brit's was coming up, and she brought early birthday presents for me from her and Meg.

Ian didn't actually capture the present, or my excited face, but Meg, I really love the mug, and can't wait for a coffee date when we get back in August!

Britni opens her present — relaxing bath stuff, since I can't be there during stressful wedding planning.

Britni got me a Monopoly book! (Which is fascinating so far — did you know it's all based on Atlantic City?)

In summary, we had a wonderful evening with the Kelly family + Karen (Bob discusses using a typewriter in college and the transition from manual to electric. Steven: "much like that of leather to papyrus." implying Bob experienced that one too. Maybe it was just funnier in person...). We headed back to G-town, as graduation festivities started early, and fully enjoyed the music and comedy available on XM radio.

Saturday. Graduation Day. What's there to say, really? It was great to see Emily (with her beautiful new purse!) and her dad. The ceremony was long. Ren, along with others, had silly string. The giant 8-person reception was busy. I did get to see a few people I knew (Ashley, good luck with Florida!). Ren schmoozed. Tired and sore, we packed up and returned home, where Patti, Alli, and Grandma Judy had prepared a wonderful lasagna dinner for us all. My family arrived. We ate. The guys discovered how much my dad can laugh when you get him going, while we had a wonderful girl-table talk. We slowly dispersed. Before going to bed, Ren and Ian partook in some fancy cigars Ren acquired (not a habit, just an... occasional guy thing, which I'll never understand), as celebration for graduation and getting to hang out again. They even wore special attire for the event (note their shoes).

Sunday morning we woke up way too early so we could get to DIA in time (we agree, the nicest airport we've ever been to — even the security maze is nice). Dane, Micki, and Ren were wonderful to shuttle us there, and it was great to spend a little more time with them! The flight home was uneventful, spent mostly napping, and we arrived back in Philly by early afternoon. Getting home took a little more effort, and involved a crabby cab driver. It felt good to be "home" but we're reminded how much we love the Midwest, and we can't wait to be back in August!

a wedding nightmare.... and updates!

First off, good news! Mom finally had her last chemo treatment! Now it's just herceptin for a year, which is considerably less stressful. Oh, and her wig looks better than my hair... lol!

Second. The wedding is only 45 days away! Exciting, but scary at the same time. Micki is down here running wedding errands for me, and we're going to do practice hair tonight! It's coming together... We're on schedule, but there's so much to do. Name change things, planning out the ceremony, pulling together reception details, fitting, alterations, and more fittings, picking up dresses, tanning, teeth whitening, getting the wedding bands, and that's just what I remember at the moment!

We're also still looking at apartments. Some promising things, but we found out in most places, studios cannot be occupied by two residents, ergo we probably need to rent a 1-bedroom apartment, which translates into a lot more money. And there's this requirement that you look at the apartment before you sign... we need to figure out how to avoid buying a plane ticket while still managing that one!

All this has caused another wedding nightmare. Last night, I dreamed we had the wedding (which was here, but the building was the same as the Christian Church back home). We were in the basement, for something post ceremony... but it wasn't the reception, despite the fact that there was cake. A sheet cake with teddy bears airbrushed on with "Bonjourno!" written across the top. Don't ask why it was Italian. No idea where that came from. Ian told me to get my own piece, instead of sharing, because he thought he'd eat it all. So I ask for another one, but they said they weren't sure they'd have enough for everyone. I pointed out, "We're the bride and groom!" So they chopped it smaller and gave me a piece. We went to sit down and I asked my mom something about when are we were heading over to Houston Street, and she said, basically, we ran out of time getting it ready, so we'll just have the reception tomorrow. I freaked, because who could stay for a two-day wedding, right? Plus we had honeymoon reservations. It was too late to pick up the tablecloths, and Houston Street didn't have the tables set up. I almost woke up, because I realized, wait, none of this is ready yet because it's November, not December (because November has a 31st, right? hah!) and then I freak out again, because Ian and I accidentally got married a month early, not getting to enjoy the wedding we planned out. This is definitely my weirdest wedding nightmare to date.

One more thing, and I'll try to keep this short. I read on the KC Star online, Joe Posnansky thinks that "Daniel, Reesing worthy of Heisman." That's Missouri's and KU's, respectively, quarterbacks for those of you not keeping up with Big XII football. No idea how good a predictor he is, but knowing how the media is jumping on the KU bandwagon (gag me!), I can see it. If KU is the first Kansas school with a Heisman winner, I think... well, I don't know what I'll do. But seriously, something is wrong with the universe. KU IS NOT A FOOTBALL SCHOOL! Well, at least we've got basketball this year... maybe we'll finally beat them at home. Ranked 22 in the AP poll, baby! Go State!

That's all I got. Except I'm going to plug "Pushing Daisies" again. Watch it. Scroll down, on the right side, you'll find the RSS feed for the online episodes. It's worth it, promise!

Anna is tired....

Last Thursday, I started feeling a bit sick. Concerned that I was getting something more serious that's going around, I went to be ridiculously early, and drank lots of water on Friday, and felt much better — just residual throat gunk. Saturday came around, with the Sunflower State Showdown. And Anna can't not yell at a football game, especially at a huge and frustrating game like Saturday's. So I lost my voice. Audible after the game, and completely gone Sunday morning when I woke up. I went to bed at 8, woke up at 10 to see Ian, slept again until 8:15 for church, and just couldn't make a noise... except a kind of honk when I tried to say "huh." I thought the only thing wrong was I couldn't talk... no soreness, no fever, nothing. But Sunday afternoon, after seeing Sydney White, which was entertaining and lots of fun to see all the girls, I passed out in my bed for 1 1/2 hours. Now, 3:06 in the afternoon, and I think I might fall asleep at my desk. And it can't be the I-need-energy-because-it's-been-too-long-since-lunch thing, because I'm still snacking. So, apparently, no voice = drowsy Anna.

At any rate, as I wait for the kids Sunday school pictures to finish downloading so I can get them on the church web site, I'll give you a quick wedding update... *cue cheesy music!* Hah! After a wonderful chat with Micki post-game (while I still had some voice left), we figured out how to make the Arrington's flowers work, while still being very cost effective. Yay for pretty flowers! We still have to work out details, but its moving forward. The next big things on the list are getting the invites printed and addressed, hopefully this week/weekend. I cringe at the cost of postage... which I think could actually outweigh the printing/envelope costs... *sigh.* We also need to pick ceremony music so we can get it to Ben to arrange... because he's talented like that... yes, talented, even in the John-sense of the word (this is post-hour long discussion on music/art and what it's primary purpose should be... art or function, ahhh, engaging intellect). Then we have to figure out where we're getting sound equipment for the reception. We've got a lot on the to-do list this week, while Ian has a lighter school load. Yay for the break after the project! :) Yesterday, we picked out engagement pictures for our order. I'm so excited to get them! And Ian is focusing on looking for apartments in Philly for us to live... I suppose we should start researching for August, as well, since we have to pick out our apartment for when we come back before we leave. If you've got any recommendations for property managers, let us know!!

Last, but not least, a mom update. She's doing great! They switched her chemo program... they bumped down the dosage and changed it to weekly, instead of bi-weekly, so Friday was the second of those, and she's doing better. She has to take white blood cell booster stuff right after, but this way she should stay on track, instead of having to continually bump treatments back for low counts. The last time I talked to her, she sounded good! However, I haven't been able to call since then, due to lack of voice...

I shall sign off for now... the pictures are finally done downloading. I leave you with a visual of what my voice sounds like right now...